I want to.  So badly.

 

But I’ve forgotten how.

 

Or maybe I’ve never known how.  Not really.

 

I’m blocked.  Stumped.  Stuck.

 

I sort of lost sight of it, and now I am unsure how to find it again.

 

I’m talking about blogging.

source

I don’t have a clue why I have lost my voice, but I really want to know where it’s hiding and when it’s coming back.  I didn’t stop blogging for any of the typical reasons like losing interest or running out of things to say (that will NEVER happen) or not having enough time.  It’s almost as if when I slowed down on posting, which was unintentional, I felt like no one would even notice.  The funny thing is, even though it shouldn’t matter, it really does to me.  When I started on this blogging journey it was something entirely different from what it became over time.  It began as a way for me to journal.  Me, my kids, whatever.  What it turned into was a journey and an adventure.  I found a hotbed of people who could not only provide some much-needed adult conversation, but who could relate to things I was going through and whom I could relate to.  That’s a big deal and it mattered to me.

 

Now that I have been away for a while, deep down, I worry that trying to come back to that community would feel like fraud, not only to me, but to all of you.  Like no one would trust me not to run off again (and I might not trust myself).

 

So I hang back.  In the shadows.  Watching.  Reading.  Wanting it back.

 

Tell me how to get it back.

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Let me just preface this by saying that what happened here in my community was nothing compared to some of the things that have occurred in other parts of the country, as well as the world for that matter.  If you have the ability please don’t hesitate to do whatever you can to help the victims of these numerous disasters.  I will definitely be doing something.  If you need directions to such a worthy cause please go here.  This group of bloggers is doing incredible things that will make a huge difference in Joplin.  Go Go Go!

 

My guess is that at some point in everyone’s lives, they have had to, or will eventually have to decide what is worth saving. What loss cannot be borne. In the case where one’s home might go up in flames, quick decisions must be made. What to take and what to leave behind.

When I walked into my back yard and saw the menacing sight above, I immediately had to make that list and make it count. In all honesty I believe this fire was no more than an overpass and a few short blocks away from my house.

When you read this next little bit, don’t think that I wasn’t worried or that I don’t know this could have been much much worse than it was. Believe me, I am not trying to make light of it. I’m just going for honesty here.

Here’s what I ran for the car with (in this order):

1) The 3 Kids – None of whom were wearing any pants or shoes. Well, I didn’t exactly have shoes on either. Forget the shoes!

2) Carton of Cigs – Duh.

3) iPhone – Seriously? I am working on getting three stars in all the Angry Birds Rio levels.

4) Camera – That thing was expensive, yo!

5) Laptop and power cord – I almost forgot and had to go back in the house to get it. Something like 15,000 pictures.

As I mentally went through my entire house, room by room, I decided there wasn’t really anything that couldn’t be replaced that was worth risking lives over. All the things that I did make it to the car with were pretty handy at the time.

We took off to my mom’s house. She has a pool, so if push came to shove we would just swim. Right. Anyway, as soon as I got there one thing popped into my head. I hadn’t thought of my $3,000 wedding album which was handmade in Italy. That could not be replaced. I wanted to go back so bad, but practical ol’ Mom wouldn’t let me. Yes, I have the husband in the flesh which is way more important than pictures, but STILL!

I want to send out a heartfelt thank you to all the brave men and women who battled the fires, saved countless lives and homes, and saved many a wedding album. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

If you were forced out of your home do you know what you would save?

Source

Above is a shot from downtown which I stole from one of the online local newspapers. Don’t worry, I’m giving credit where credit is due.

So, being down in that smoke was pretty scary. It was named the CEED Fire. Over 4,000 acres burned and not one home or life was lost. Amazing.

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Late Afternoon

I know it’s sad. Me trying for some kind of comeback and only posting pictures of my kids. Maybe words eventually,but for now, just typical mom pictures you probably care nothing about. Muahahahah!

21 comments Read the full article →