I’m feeling a bit like ranting and raving so if it’s not you’re style, continue reading at your own risk. I, personally, couldn’t care less.
Learn how to put a new bag in the trash can. If you feel motivated to remove the trash from the trash can DO NOT leave it bag-less for me to throw something nasty into. It may be petty of me but I do not want to take the time to make sure there is a sack in the trash can before I deposit something gnarly.
For that matter, excuse me. Am I the only human being in the house capable of pulling the sack out? Is it just too hard? Is it easier to put your foot on top of the trash and stomp on it until everything squishes out? Give me a frickin break!
By the way, I did not expel you from my hoo hoo, nor did I get cut wide open to bring you into the world. I DID NOT sign up to raise you. That was your mommy’s job. It is not my bad. SAKES ALIVE MAN! It only takes a matter of 5-10 seconds to rinse out a dish and save me from having to bust out the cutting torch to get the crap off the bowl. No. I DO NOT have the slightest inclination to stand at the sink with a smile waiting for you to give me something to do.
And heaven forbid you should sink so low as to…*GASP* pick up after yourself! I signed up for 3 children. I DID NOT agree to 4.
I love you and you are the best husband and father in the entirety of the universe. I am so blessed to have you and my beautiful children. Thank you for giving me all of this and providing for our family. But if ever again I am screaming about the trash I would recommend you not pop off and say:
“I thought you were already off your period…”
(watch your back while you’re sleeping)
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I stumbled on your blog at Pretty All True and decided to stalk you a little more. I just have to say, did we marry the same man?? Because after reading that, it sure as hell feels like we did.
If yours is a silent, hillbilly, useful when he wants something, sweet, giving, inconsiderate, awesome husband and father dude, then maybe. But I'm pretty sure mine is one of a kind. And no worries. I love stalkers.