This is a list of the things/areas that might need to be replaced/fixed/remodeled/cleaned with a flamethrower after the shenanigans my children have been pulling today.
1. Planters by entry with new bulbs and seeds that were sprouting, now soaked in gasoline and have been dug up by a 3-year-old with a crescent wrench. Then the boys smeared gasoline soaked mud all over themselves. Hosed down with ice cold water.
2. Pergo floors in boys’ room are destroyed due to the moving of the furniture by 3 and 4 year old boys. Hello new floors…AGAIN.
3. Bathroom vanity area covered in Johnsons baby wash (industrial sized vat amount has been emptied here). Suds covering vanity area where boys tried to clean it up by turning the water on and spraying it all over said bathroom.
4. Floors through general living areas, which are tile thank goodness, covered in water from boys sneaking to bathroom and filling up empty plastic coffee container, then running through the house with it because they were caught and being hunted. Only cleanup necessary there, which was done by aforementioned boys.
5. Wall beside 3-year-old’s bed where previous incident of jumping on bed and landing head first into the wall made a hole which 3-year-old has now peeled EATEN the chipping paint off of. Sheetrock now needs replacing.
6. Towel bar in bathroom which was ripped from the wall because a 4-year-old decided he needed to get beefy and do some chin-ups.
7. Kitchen floors, again tile, covered in Gerber oatmeal flakiness. Good thing I’ve got a Dyson.
8. Beds in boys’ room which have been stripped down to the mattresses thanks to the boys who sleep there. They thought the bedding needed to be removed for aerodynamic quality of bed-jumping.
9. I now can’t remember all the rest because my brain is fried from the vicious cycle that is “Don’t do this particular thing,” “ok, I’ll go and do something worse.”
I am not mentioning the crying, go-to-hell looks, and general sass because the telling of those incidents mixed in with the others would just be too much. I might need a gun if I remember it all. Again I’m using my post-traumatic blocking technique.
Days like these are why pharmaceutical companies are raking in the cash.
I think I just freeze-dried a June Bug with my computer dusting spray can. At least he didn’t have to suffer long. Lucky friggin bug.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
My lordy, woman, you are a trooper! I found you via Kris at Pretty All True, and after reading this post, I just want to give you a hug, and the last of my vicodin from having my wisdom teeth out.
Also, the family bed post made me laugh. Viva la marital bed!
I give it my best. That particular day I was just about to run out into the street naked, screaming and pulling out large quantities of hair. My mom never brought me the damn Valium so the Vicodin would have been much appreciated.
About the family bed thing? Absolutely NO embellishment whatsoever. Sick huh?
PS–I love my Pretty All True!