My On-Going To-Do List:
- Take down Halloween decorations (shut up)
- Stuff, address and mail Christmas cards
- Make stew for Tim’s hunting trip this weekend
Shit! I forgot to start the stew in the Crock Pot. Don’t go anywhere!
::calls Tim to ask him where the Crock Pot is stashed. Gets the Crock Pot out of the attic. Goes to the store to get the stew meat she forgot last night. Spends a really long time and a lot of money in the store instead of just getting the stew meat. Returns home, washes the cobwebs out of the Crock Pot, seasons the meat and dumps it in, turns the knob to high. Sits down at computer::
Okay so I promised Tim I would make him and his hunting buddies some stew for their trip. They’re leaving in the morning. Apparently, I bit off more than I can chew. Like usual.
Proof that the stew meat is cooking
- Wash socks and underwear for Tim since he has none
- Make a wreath out of Cupcake liners. (How in the hell do I get myself into these situations?!?!)
- Make 36 “Cookie-Mix-In-A-Mason-Jar” gifts (see above in parentheses)
- Make Christmas cookies for Colton’s class party
- Sort out old clothes and toys in the boys’ room
- Gouge eyeballs out with a juice box straw
- Put up and decorate Christmas tree
- Shoot self in big toe (at least that would take care of the ingrown) with Tim’s deer rifle
- Make a more appropriate to do list…
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This is hilarious!!
Thank you, cousin of mine!
I’m glad to know you’re reading
Love ya!
You are hilarious! Oh, how awesome you are to do all that stuff for everyone. It almost makes me love you enough not to send you a Husker Gnome. Almost. teehee.
As usual, you crack me up and made my day.
Check out my inappropriate mom-ness when you have a sec. Maybe it will be a “Not to do” list for mothering your boys.
Much love!!
Cate
Cate recently posted..It’s that time of year…
Awww crap! I’ve got to find a UT gnome PRONTO! Totally forgot. Your hubs would be way disappointed so don’t tell him. Tell him I said “Hook ‘em even though we suck hard this year!”
I’m so happy this inspired a giggle. You did the same for me with your Victoria’s Secret models. WOOT!
Much Much Love,
Are
This was a riot!
I too am planning to do the cookie mix recipe jar thing. We can share horror stories later.
OMG I figured out I’m going to have to buy a funnel. Wait!!! I just thought of something…
I could totally make a cone type thingy out of saran wrap and cut a little hole in the bottom and affix it to the top of the jar like a “make-your-own-funnel” sort of deal and then I wouldn’t have to buy the funnel and I wouldn’t be negating the savings of doing the damn DIY gifts in the first place so onward with my makeshift funnel! onward, ho!
(can you tell I’m losing it a little?)
I like how this is “on-going” to-do list.
Like you know this stuff is not actually going to get done anytime soon.
I see you.
You do see me.
I guess you can see the 36 mason jars still in their boxes sitting in the corner of my dining room too.
Kris! You can come in off the back porch now. Seriously. There’s no need to stand outside in the cold. And it kinda creeps me out when you look in my windows like a psycho or something. Get in here dude.
Oh, lordy, hunting stew and mason jars!
As long as you don’t fill the mason jars with the stew….
Or gouge your eye out with a juice straw.
Of course, there’s at least comic relief in that?
Love you!!!
CDG recently posted..Orion Rising
Oh, man. That stew was sooooo good! I don’t think anything bad ever came out of a crock pot. I think I might have to find a way to can the stew… yeah right!
Yay for comic relief. Always.
Love you back!
You know what you should’ve done instead of the cookie-mix-in-a-jar things? Just buy a roll of Pillsbury cookies or a box of Betty Crocker cake mix and tie a pretty ribbon on it. That’s just as good, right?
And if you’re gonna gouge your eyeballs out, make sure you use one with that one pointy/jagged edge.
Pop recently posted..Cook- Pop- Cook- Korean Fried Chicken
Bwahahahaha!!! Now THAT’S my kind of Christmas present. I can honestly say that if someone gave me a roll of chocolate chip cookie dough with a bow on it, it would be my favorite present ever. I eat that stuff straight outta the wrapper! NOM NOM NOM. You’re a smart dude.
You are one really busy Mom. Hope things slow down after the holidays.
You and me both!!!
I found Capri Sun to have the best straws for eyeball gouging. Sure, they’re pure sugar but they make a mean poking stick.
KLZ recently posted..Word Up- Yo! Extension
CRAP! I don’t know how I missed this comment. SOOO solly.
Yeah, I prefer the ones for the chocolate milk boxes because they have the pointy end but they’re larger in diameter, which makes for much better gouging. Capri Suns always run a close second though
Hello, heart of my heart. I believe I just fell in love. I saw your comment over at my blog and followed you back here . . . and lurve you. You watch and read Twilight?? What fine, fine taste you have! Team Jacob? Team Edward? I’m Team ME. I’ve got dibs on the straws, just so you know. And I’d totally buy bakery cookies and then be all, “Why thank you SO much, they are delicious, aren’t they? Oh, no, I couldn’t give out the recipie. It’s an old family tradition.”
kim recently posted..A Few Of My Favorite Things
OOH! When it’s “lurve” you know it’s serious! Ha! Thank you.
Yes, I am one of those Twilight Moms and proud of it (kinda. don’t tell anybody, kay?) At least I’m cool enough that I read the books before all the movie hype. That does make me cool right? Right?!
Yeah, I’m thinking
store-boughthomemade cookies might end up happening. But then again, who knows? I might have a moment.Kris’ response cracked me up. I love that you still don’t have Halloween stuff put away
Natalie recently posted..Saturday Stuff 13
Yeah, I’m sitting over here with a rotten pumpkin on my mantle and you’re over there with your lovely magnanimous Christmas village. I think I lose…
I’m totally intrigued by this cupcake liner wreath; will you post a pic when you are done?
And now I totally want stew, too!
liz recently posted..Dear You Guys&8230 17
Ah, the stew was delish! You should make some. It’s fantastic for cold dreary days. Love it.
Yeah, if I actually end up doing the wreath, you can bet your sweet ass I’m going to post pictures. That will be newsworthy. Of course there was that one time where I made that really awesome cake, so who knows what all I am capable of!!! We’ll see
I started laughing out loud right at the beginning about the Halloween decorations. Haaa! You always make me laugh. I am also intrigued by that cupcake liner wreath AND I want to know the cookie-in-a-jar mix that you are using. I need to do that…bad….now. Last thing, LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your definition for “uterarea”. It made me want to throw up and laugh at the same time, especially when I read “front butt”. Haaaaaa!!! You are a nut!
Kelley recently posted..Captcha Balderdash 6 WRAP-UP is FUNNY STUFF
It’s funny unless you can smell the rotting pumpkin on the mantle. I wish I was kidding. OH FOR PITY’S SAKE!!! ::goes and gets the damn pumpkin and throws it in the trash::
That’s done. I can cross off #1!
The cookie in a jar mix? I’m going to put the dry ingredients together for M&M cookies in a mason jar and add a recipe card to the outside of the jar that tells what to add and how to cook them. Fun right?
Your to-do list looks better than mine! Dang, make a wreath out of cupcake liners? You’re supermom! But answer me this: what crock pot do you use and which recipe do you love the most? Help a non-cook out! Getting a crock pot is on my to-do list.
Um, supermom I am not even. But thanks!
I just use a regular ol’ Crock Pot. Nothing special. But about 5 minutes ago I saw a commercial for the Hamilton Beach slow cooker with the seal-able lid. I came to my computer to research it and saw your comment. I think I’m asking Santa for one.
I’ll email you the “recipe.”
PS- I soooo don’t cook so the only reason I make this stew is because it’s truly the easiest thing on earth to do. And oh so yummy.
I’m exhausted just reading what all you were doing at the same time. Hysterical! I think we are all trying to figure out what that cupcake wrapper wreath is going to look like. Hope that is in a follow up post. I had to come here from the Break Room after that AWESOME Captcha definition.
Melinda recently posted..Why Cooking A Turkey is Like Being in a Horror Film…or at an OB-GYN office
I’m exhausted too!
Yeah, I will definitely do a follow up post showing the (sure-to-be) disaster of a cupcake liner wreath. It should be entertaining at least!
I totally lucked out with that Captcha. Love the Break Room, too. Thanks for popping in!
I’m glad to know that “gouge eyeballs out with juice box straw” is making it to OTHER people’s lists, too.
I hate being the only one to celebrate a time-honored holiday tradition.
Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha recently posted..Flashback
Ha! “time-honored holiday tradition.”
You crack me up, Lori. I love you.
You had me at #1 with the Halloween decorations. I just recently threw away pumpkins on our front porch (and get this, they were whole and intact as we didn’t have time to actually carve any this year…that’s another story) on the 1st of December, the 1st day of Chanukah. I figured I’d better throw them away before I heard from my family that came over a few nights later as to why there were still pumpkins outside!
Hee! We didn’t get to actually carve any either! I think I finally threw mine away 2 or 3 days ago. You have me beat.
Oh my. This cracked my shit right up.
You are so much nicer than I. My husband is on his own when he goes on his fishing trips. I make a conscious effort to NOT help him prepare at all. It is fun watching him suffer.
tulpen recently posted..Awww Nuts Thats Just Evil Poor Me
Oh, I do my fair share of bitching and moaning. The stew was to make me look good
That’s the first time I’ve done something nice. Don’t hold it against me, kay?
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